How to IDOLISE Yourself ✨10 Ways to Become to Coolest Person You Know✨
I came up with the concept of becoming the coolest person you know as an antidote to the self-depreciation that so many women experience when they're trying to navigate life, or they're trying to build a business.
As a business mentor, I work with so many women who have such a negative self-perspective. The things that they say to themselves, the things that they believe that they can and cannot do because of their conditioning and because of their programming, hold them back from truly being able to achieve extraordinary things in this lifetime.
But the thing that is going to make the difference in your ability to be successful is your identity. What you believe to be true about yourself is the thing that is going to determine the actions that you take, the opportunities that you pursue, the conversations that you have, and the goals that you set. And so how we perceive ourselves is such an important part of building an extraordinary life.
And so this video is going to be all about how to idolize yourself. I'm going to give you 10 steps on how to start idolizing yourself, how to start loving yourself, and how to start really truly feeling like you are worthy of everything that you desire because you are. There is no difference between you and all of these other people that you put on a pedestal and compare yourself to.
It's all a matter of perspective. And so your work in this lifetime is to change your perspective of yourself, to start seeing yourself as the incredible extraordinary human being that you are.
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WHY IDOLIZING YOURSELF IS SO IMPORTANT
If we break down what the word idolize means, it simply means to admire, to love excessively.
Why is that such a bad thing? The reason is that so many people believe that self-idolization or admiring yourself, or even becoming the coolest person you know is an exercise in egotism. It leads to narcissistic behaviours.
Loving yourself is not narcissistic. Loving yourself is crucial to living an extraordinary life. The difference between being narcissistic and self-love is this: When you are narcissistic, you are putting your value above other people. You are actually basing your value on some kind of scale. In order for you to be good, somebody else needs to be bad. Self-idolization is not that. It is simply just saying I myself am worthy. I am good enough, I am worthy of love, I'm worthy of success, I'm worthy of everything that I desire. It's looking at who we are and feeling proud of ourselves, looking at what we've achieved in a good light rather than just thinking that it was luck or some kind of fluke. It's liking the way that we look, it's being happy with our appearance, and more importantly, it's that we feel worthy of all the things that we desire to create.
Because that my friend, really is the biggest thing that holds so many women back.
It holds them back from going for opportunities, asking for a raise, starting businesses, for going and creating content in a convicted, positive expert kind of way.
We're constantly labelling everything outside of ourselves as inspirational, as cool, as a vibe, and we need to turn that lens back on ourselves. If we truly learned to love ourselves, if we truly learned to see ourselves as just as worthy as everything else that we're experiencing on this planet, we would do so much more.
And honestly, when more women step into power, influence, accumulate wealth and abundance when more mission-driven women have this kind of status, that truly is when the world is going to change.
Step one: Using your words
Tell yourself that you are a vibe. You have to constantly be on top of those thoughts that are going on in your mind and catch yourself every single time that inner mean girl comes out, and you start speaking negatively to yourself and rewrite that story. You might not believe it the first few times, and that is okay, change does not happen overnight.
You can do reprogram yourself in many different ways, through journaling, through coaching, through mirror work, through tapping through meditation, just through inner conversations and inner dialogues.
One of my personal favourites is through hypnosis. I like to record myself saying positive things to myself and then listen to them on repeat.
The more often that you can say positive things to yourself and tell yourself that you are a vibe, the more that you are actually rewriting and reprogramming those neural pathways that right now probably aren't that positive. And because they're not positive, are probably keeping you stuck in procrastination and comparison and perfectionism.
The more that you get in the habit of being “I can do this. I am good enough, I am a vibe, I am gorgeous, I am capable, I've done all these incredible things,” the more that your subconscious will start to believe that, and it will be like magic.
You will start believing different things. And when you believe different things, you think differently, and you take different actions. When you take different actions, you get different results.
It all starts with the way that you speak to yourself. So constantly tell yourself you are a vibe and watch the magic unfold.
STEP 2: Rebrand your life
There's so much inspiration out there. I'm sure right now, just like me, you have a Pinterest board full of things that you think are cool, that you think are worth idolizing, that you think are a vibe, and they're probably sitting on that Pinterest board and in your mind, it's a “one day my life will be like that.”
The more that you can create your own life by rebranding your life, your home environment, your personal style, and even the little moments throughout the day that you can romanticize, the more you’ll be inspired by it.
It's about the intention and the appreciation. When you rebrand your life, and you do all of those things that you think, “oh, one day I'll be worthy of doing them.” Nope, do them now.
Rebrand your life to look like your Pinterest boards and appreciate those moments.
Appreciate how delicious and beautiful life actually is because the more that you create your life as a vibe, the more that you are going to idolize this experience that you have created for yourself rather than just constantly idolizing it for everyone else.
And this goes back to step 1 – You have to believe that you are worthy of these things to take notice of them in the first place. But bring that awareness to all of those delicious moments in your day. And if you can't find those delicious moments, then actually put the effort into creating them.
STEP 3: PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR APPEARANCE
This is not supposed to be some shallow attempt or some capitalistic endeavour or some patriarchal desire, but when you feel good about yourself, you will idolize and admire yourself more. It does just take a little bit of effort.
Dress yourself in a nice outfit instead of wearing sweatpants. Unless you feel like the coolest person you know in sweatpants, then go and do that.
Remember, there is no one description of what beauty, of what style is, of what fashion looks like. It is all about self-expression.
It's about breaking the rules. But if you believe cool style is only reserved for other people, instead of just exploring those things for yourself, you are always putting admiration, pride, love outside of yourself.
What we are doing is we're trying to collect these experiences and bring them to life for us. So put a little bit of effort into your appearance, whatever that looks like for you.
The more that you talk positively to yourself, the easier this step actually becomes, because the more often you'll look in the mirror and feel good about yourself because the dialogue has actually changed internally.
STEP FOUR: CHALLENGE YOURSELF
Becoming The Coolest Person You Know is both a mix of self-acceptance and taking action towards the life that you desire. And challenging yourself is one way to increase self-efficacy.
When you feel like you can do things, you will do more things. So the more that you challenge yourself, the more that you break through those fear barriers or those procrastination barriers or the worthiness barriers, the easier it becomes to build momentum and keep taking action.
So what's something that you've wanted to try? What's something you've wanted to experience? Go and challenge yourself to do these things.
When you are challenging yourself, you are going to feel proud of yourself. And feeling proud of yourself will only ever support your self-admiration.
What is something that you can do in the next 24 hours that you've been procrastinating on or holding back on to challenge yourself?
STEP 5: FIND YOUR “THING”
What I mean by this is…find a hobby. It sounds so simple, but generally, the most profound things are simple.
But what's your thing? These are the things that will help you truly craft your unique identity. Having hobbies or things that you are pursuing for yourself that means something to you, whether or not you're good at them, will shape how you show up.
The more that you have your things, your places, your little communities and your little passions, the more that you're going to navigate this world being able to idolize yourself more.
Again, because you'll feel proud of yourself for challenging yourself and having things that are just for you.
STEP 6: STOP JUDGING OTHERS
You know, what we generally judge in other people is a reflection of something that we are judging within ourselves.
Whether it's something that we lack within ourselves or we desire within ourselves.
When you are coming from the energy of judgment, that's gonna bounce back and forth. It really is something that we need to let go of.
When we can let go of judgment, it doesn't then become a habit. Because if judgment is a habit that we have developed, then, of course, we are going to be consistently judging ourselves.
So practice the habit of non-judgment, and then that will also be reflected back towards you.
STEP 7: CONNECT TO YOUR INNER CHILD
Let yourself have fun. Let yourself play, stop taking everything so seriously. Approach the world with more curiosity. I know this is something that people idolize as a fantasy, but that's just not true.
Here’s a really concrete example of this is:
I teach people how to build extraordinary history-making brands, a freedom-based business, and I see so many people just taking their business so seriously and then they create so much more work for themselves. Because when it comes to creating content, it's like if it's not perfect, it's not good enough, and it's all laced with judgment and self-criticism.
But I often say to my clients like, what would it look like if you just had fun? If you let your inner child come out a little bit. What would making a reel look like if you were, rather than trying to get a result, trying to have fun? What would creating a program look like? What would having a conversation with a client look like?
Of course, you bring your expertise and your experience into this as well, but I think fun really is the opposite of pressure.
I think that when we put expectations and pressure on things to be a certain way, it causes just, a really negative experience. Whereas the opposite to that is if we just have fun, if we just go in with no expectations and we have fun, and we be free, and we be flowy, then obviously we challenge ourselves more. We take more action and our perspective of the situation changes, we view it in a more positive light, it becomes a positive memory, which then goes into that bank of self-pride, self-admiration, and just feeling like our life is a vibe.
STEP 8: DETACHMENT
The expectations that we put on ourselves of needing to look a certain way, needing to achieve a certain thing in a certain timeline, and if we don't, then we're not good enough, we're not worthy enough. It's proof that that negative thought that told us, wow, you shouldn't have tried in the first place is all from attachment. Attachment to results, attachment to expectations.
Allowing yourself to let go of stress and timelines, it allows you to feel like you're progressing forward instead of always missing the mark.
For instance, when you set the goal for your business to make $10,000 in the next month, and then that doesn't happen, but you make eight, the attachment to the $10,000 takes away the celebration of the eight.
And so the less that you can attach to certain outcomes and timelines while simultaneously challenging yourself and having fun, you'll still take action and move forward without constantly feeling like you're failing.
STEP 9: MOVE YOUR BODY
Humans are designed to move. Get that energy flowing.
I see stagnant energy in the body as a container for self-criticism, for feeling like negative moods spiralling down into these self-critical states. One of the best ways to shift out of that is to move your body.
It's a good way to cultivate emotional energy, physical energy, just a vibe and a zest for life. And so moving your body in whatever way it looks like for you. Just make sure you are prioritizing moving your body so that you can move the energy out of you more efficiently and make space for a more positive perspective.
STEP 10: DEFINE WHAT COOL MEANS TO YOU
What is worth idolizing for you? What is worth admiring? What do you love?
There is so much conditioning that holds us back from feeling like we are good enough in this lifetime. F*ck all of that. Honestly, define what cool means to you. It is one of the most rebellious but yet cathartic and liberating things that you can do in this lifetime.
If you can truly define your own version of success, you can define your own timeline, your own style, your own vibe, it will help you to love yourself more, to idolize yourself more, to admire yourself more.
There is nothing more charismatic and magnetic than a person who is just vibing through life with themselves, doing their thing, being a rebel, breaking the rules. And honestly, that can be you.
You don't have to sit there scrolling on your phone constantly, every single day being like, “I wish I had that person's life. I wish I had that person's body. I wish I had that person's style. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy enough. I will never achieve that.”
When you define what you want to truly achieve in life and have the courage to go after that by changing your perspective, changing your beliefs, changing the way you see yourself, that's gonna trump every single personal development book that you've ever read.
When you define what success and what life looks like for you or what you desire it to look like, and you have the courage to unapologetically go after that thing without the fear of judgment, everything will change. It really will. That's where the magic happens. That is where you truly become The Coolest Person You Know.
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